Sometimes it’s something you need to hear !

 We go through so much, and maybe it’s just me, maybe you don’t go through anything. Maybe you don’t have children yet, maybe your responsibility list is crazy short. But I know my list even before I added Kam on my plate was overwhelming. I’ve always been the type of person where asking for help was the last thing on my list. I actually just had a little “put me in my place“ talk with my dad because I texted and asked him for something and before I got to the point I stated that “I hate to ask you for this.” lol,  He was not happy with that because he never understand why I don’t ask him for help. I had to explain to him that it’s not just him it’s everyone. I have always been the little girl, the teenager, the young adult, the adult, the maturing adult that was/is scared of rejection. I was never with being told no. I was never the one that mindset was “all they can do is say no.” you had to be a person that was absolutely telling me YES! 

If I ever conjured up the courage to swallow my pride and ask you for something and you said anything but yes I would never ask you again, idk that’s how I always been. 

for so long I’ve been making the mistake of telling myself “I can do it on my own,” even though I eventually did I piled my plate too high when I didn’t need to. 

I grew up “stressed” and “overwhelmed” when I could have just been growing up. 

Yes I was taught to be independent, never solely depend on not just a man but anyone because “if that person pick up and walk away guess what you’ll be assed out”. I’ve always worked so hard for what I wanted, I knew what I had to do in life (get money) and I always went the legit way of getting it (working). I’ve been working since I was 15 years old. 

When my daughter came I can say things got worst. Of course I went above and beyond for her. Problems with her father (another blog coming soon) only made me go harder because of course I had to show him “with or without you, baby girl will have it all!” And of course she did, and I stood on the “without you” because I could do away with the stress and bitterness of a man heartbroken that I no longer wanted to be with him. Let me tell you a bitter man is the worst type of man to ever have to deal with. Anyway, the added stress I was giving myself after having my daughter was of course not needed. I had my mom who helped me out tremendously from day one, my sister, my aunt, & grandma, I had so much help and when it came to needed someone to look after her for a few I utilized those people but for the most part my mom was my rock! She took my daughter with no hesitation. I worked my ass off to keep my rent and bills paid, car note paid, food on the table, clothes on our back and Kam necessities overflowing! 

I needed to hear “you are an amazing mother,” I needed to hear “you are doing an amazing job,” the best one I heard over and over though was that “She changed you,” “Kam came into your life and made you happier, the way you smile now, the glow you have now, the way you look at her,” the joy that bounces off your skin,” “Kam is your everything!” And although I was just working, stressing, bussing my ass like clockwork, not even thinking about it, it was just apart of my daily routine I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT. It made me stop, slow down, and admire my work. Not only my work on the outside but my inner work because I was working on my peace and happiness and my patience. People noticed, people seen the change in me. I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT. You have to celebrate every joy in your life. You have to acknowledge EVERY TINY accolade, celebrate each moment, that’s how you get that glow. Every celebration won’t me GRAND, the ones that make you smile to yourself are the ones that passes in the moment quick. Get those quick smiles and those blush moments and acknowledge them, you don’t even know you are working for those moment until those moments make you stop for 6 seconds an appreciate everything you’ve been working so hard for! MOST TIMES WE NEED TO HEAR THESE THINGS.