Why is genuine love so hard to find?

 Why is genuine love so hard to find?


I just want love. Genuine, don’t want to be hurt or heartbroken before I get an unbreakable bond type of love. While my friends were in high school and even middle school 🥴 having sex and in relationships I was a late bloomer. Didn’t even enter into my first relationship until I was 18. Those failed relationships were heartbreaking. They ended messy! I have only been in 3 real relationships. My longest relationship was 4 years from 19 until about 23 maybe 24. The first 2 I was cheated on, humiliated, just heart shattered into pieces. In between that one and my last one which produced my baby girl I “dated” guys but no one was ever faithful, most of their mental was to cheat on me before I cheated on them, or to have other females “in the tuck” just in case. I’ve dealt with guys who left out the “I have a girlfriend” part when dating me. I’ve dated guys that chased me for years and when finally given the chance they were living a double life. These guys all claimed to have genuinely love me but to me that’s not love. Blindly leading me in to situations where I wasn’t the only one or even number one (not saying that’s better). I then started dating my daughter father on and off since 2013. Having deciding to have a baby, planning her down to the T, going back to the guy I left years prior because he hit his comfort zone when I got pregnant & believed “he had me” because I was pregnant, He let his family come between his family (his new family) and at 4 months pregnant I decided we would never work and co parenting would be best. After having my daughter and him deciding that he would only be a father if we was together I decided love and relationships was something that was to go on hold and focusing on being a new mom was more important. My daughter will soon be 2 and after 2 long years of cutting love out of the picture (well I dated this past summer and it was the same ol’ love song I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART SY BUT.....) I started getting lonely at night. I have yet to fine someone who is 100% single, that want to invest in me with their whole heart 100% and one I don’t have to go through hell and high water for just to be happy. I can’t accept cheating to get to my happy place, no disrespect, no lying, nothing a relationship shouldn’t have. 

Many times I wonder if it’s me? Am I thinking too unrealistically? Is it impossible to find love you don’t have to feel heartbroken over first before you get the ultimate goal? Is the only way to true happiness after he’s cheated or lied or played you? Is it after you walk away? Do I really have to go through being broken into pieces before I’m lifted, cared for and honored in love? Yes I have high expectations for the one I want to spend the rest of my life with but do love not exist in this generation anymore? I don’t ask for anything I can’t give in Return. I love hard, I give everything I have, I’m emotional, I’m understanding, I’m extremely loving, I’m everything in a woman in a relationship but yet somehow I’m still single and beginning to feel lonely....... so now I just pray, pray for my forever, for my happily ever after. I ask God to send me my guy, someone I don’t have to be shattered into a million pieces for before I get my happy ending. I was told that we shouldn’t be looking for a husband because they are supposed to find us so I often and currently try not to look. It just makes me sad that anyone I give the chance too is someone I could have bypassed and saved myself the “ache” for......

Are you single? 

Do you feel how I feel? 

Can you relate to my concerns? 

Do you feel like my standards are to unrealistic?

Do you feel your standards are too unrealistic? 

Are you in a relationship or married? 

What did you do or how did you end up with your forever ending? 

Did you have to be broken first? 

Shattered into pieces? 

Did you and your mate have to go through some shit to get to where you are? 

Did you feel like your forever was a never also? 

Please leave comments and give feedback to help me understand 🙏🏽

Comments

  1. stephoxMarch 7, 2021 at 4:22 AM

    It’s not you. Naturally as women we will crave affection but as empaths we crave something deeper. Like you I was also a late bloomer and feel so behind for choosing to wait because now it seems those around are in deep serious relationships and here I am attracting men who can’t commit to a date. We work on ourselves, evolve, adjust with an open mind and watch people who are flawed secure some real true love. We see others force and hold on to once was so they can say they have it. Society paints being alone as if something is wrong. I’ve been craving something real for years. I’m still focused but when you know you deserve a space where you can feel safe and celebrated and provide the same, you know you can’t put up with anyone half loving you.
    Overall I’m still finding these answers but use this quote to get by “there is a lesson we must learn in being alone and lessons we need to learn in relationships. Don’t miss out on the lessons of the moment from trying to hurry up and chase something not real or ready for you.” At the same time I understand losing patience and feeling like we as women, especially black women, don’t get much time to figure ourselves out. We are expected to know. ~STE🦊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sy SharellMarch 7, 2021 at 4:08 PM

      This is deep 😩🥴! Well said and put! That quote was powerful!

      Delete

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