Posts

Living without boundaries so there is nothing there to protect you!

 I struggle a lot with loving others, doing for others. Being there for others, and allowing others to do the same for me. My fear is rejection and I pray everyday I can get past that. In hindsight “no” isn’t the worst outcome. But being so deep in and not having your energy matched in any situation breaks hearts. I struggle with this in almost every aspect of my life. Being in my late 30s I never thought I’d let it get me this deep in. It’s hurting me. It’s drowning me. It’s killing me. And I can’t shake it. I accept so much from people that shouldn’t even get a hello from me. I let people treat me so bad and I convince myself that if I’m good to them, if I’m there for them, if I’m always available my love can change them. But what happens when the objective for them was never love? What if it wasn’t even like?  Right now I am in therapy, I want to be able to let go before I hate you. I want to be able to stand up for myself…… I want to walk away the first time, at the first ...
Post a Comment
Read more

God allowed it BUT He did not ORDAIN it!

 Just because God “allowed” something to happen in your life does not mean he ordained it. It don’t mean it was apart of his plan for you or your life. Sometime we move to fast and go and take things into our own hands and many times God will ALLOW it but don’t blame him because no one said it was ORDAINED by him. He allows free will even when it’s not written by him.  When we make a move or decision that don’t fit our lives sometimes we must step back and ask ourselves was this allowed because I wasn’t listening or was this ordained because it’s part of God’s plan? Listening to God, not going ahead of him and not taking matters into our own hands will help us know the difference!  We may see this a lot with promises from God. Sometimes we get so excited and impatient we try to Go Ahead of God and jumpstart a promise from God and mess things up. Now as a promise it’s yours, it will happen, because God said it and he shall not lie but again just because he allowed you to m...
Post a Comment
Read more

Healing is a journey so how do you prepare for the long road trip?

  When you are going through something, Getting through something, or have just come out of something the best way to get a hold of it, to get back in to the swing of life or to get through it, is to prepare for the long road of recovery ahead. We as people lack recovery/ downtime. We don’t give ourself time to heal. Wether that looks like jumping right back into something, overworking ourselves to stay busy, not working at all or being productive, or simply not processing the situation. Heartbreak of any kind of “ship” and or death isn’t the only situations we need to take time from and focus on healing.  Breakups  Child loss  Child gain (birth/adoption) Job loss Job promotion  Recovery (addiction) A sudden change in your repetitive routine  Moving  Upgrading space Downgrading space  New relationship  New marriage  New school Anything that cause an extreme emotional, spiritual, or physical change, good or bad is going to take time to he...
Post a Comment
Read more

Visions• Goals• Action Plans

  Have you ever made a vision board filled with Goals and dream homes and cars? Business ventures and dogs? Or have you ever journaled or just simply wrote out your goals?   Yes? Well this blog will help you move those goals from your Vision Boards and journals and into motion.  Goals are just that Goals when you don't have a plan of action as to how you are going to achieve them. In this blog I am going to share with you the steps I take when trying to achieve a goal.  The first thing you should do is write them down. Make a list of everything you'd like to achieve. Some say that a goal becomes a plan once you write it down and why this is partially true it takes a little more than just a list of goals to make them a plan.  You have to focus on what it will take to achieve each of these goals. Break these goals up and generally write down what would need to be done to ultimately say you've accomplished these goals.  For example if your goal is to buy or le...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mom Guilt

  Many people talk about a lot of things but mom guilt is something that is rare, if ever talked about. According to betterup.com Mom guilt — or mommy guilt — is     feelings of guilt women experience in relation to their kids . Mom guilt comes from  an unrealistic ideal of a perfect mom. This isn't talked about enough because I feel like everyone, including the expecting mother, expect mothers to just wake up delivery day and be this perfect mom, or a mom period. Mom Guilt can come after birthing any child. Not just the first child.  I myself experienced mom guilt when my daughter was a few months old and I decided I was ready to get back out there and go out for girls night. Leaving Kam at a young was very much needed being as though I was a new mom but I felt like I should have been spending every second, Minute, hour with her being as though I am her mother. I didn't realize until later that no matter where I am I am still considered "a mom". As Kam is growi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Breaking bad Habits & creating new, Good Habits.

Happy 2023! Normally everyone would be asking what’s your New Year’s resolution?  Basically a new goal or habit you want to create for the new coming year. And although we are not starting this blog off with those questions we will get into them a little later.  When setting a new goal we often forget about or don’t think about or focus on the bad habits we need to first get rid of or change before trying to add a new repetitive behavior into an already bad schedule.  When trying to create a new habit let’s first focus on how to rid the bad/old ones.  For example if your new goals are money management we first have to recognize where we are going wrong with the money we currently Mismanage now.  If it’s losing weight/toning up/or gaining health weight, we first need to focus on what unhealthy habits we need to break so our new habits will succeed. Do you midnight snack?, do you snack at work or on breaks?, do you do impulsive spending? Do you spend with the mind...
Post a Comment
Read more

Leading, being submissive. Do I not qualify to be submitted to because SUBMISSION is based on gender roles?

  What is your definition or understanding, attitude or feelings when you hear the word submissive?   This is a popular topic that causes a lot of controversy, especially depending on who side your viewing this from.  Let’s first look at the definition of submission/submissive and then talk about it from a relationship point of view!  According to Dictionary.com the word submissive is defined as “ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.” I’m not sure if the women understand what it means to REALLY BE SUBMISSIVE. There are a lot of women that disagree with this idea but a lot of women use this word loosely. When I think of being submissive I think of God. “To conform to the authority” this is the line that bothers me. I think of “Master” or “Boss” someone that has power over me. Whether it has to do with money, work, Doctors and medicine, teachers in school, someone that controls how I move, behave, or act in exchange for someth...
Post a Comment
Read more